Day 4: Dreams and Reality

I woke up today with yet another headache..... After dreaming about gorging myself on cake...... So far it is shaping up to be a weird day... Did I mention that I am the Special Events Coordinator at Fayetteville Athletic Club....... The main part of my job is birthday parties for kids...... I love kids' birthday parties! Making sure they are having fun... That noone is left out.... Helping the parents keep their sanity while trying to avoid the cameras..... I am the invisible birthday fairy..... Lol, just kidding..... One perk of the job has been the cake..... There is almost always a slice for me..... Covered in some of the best frostings, from bakeries all over town...... Today will be the first time I will actually graciously turn that cake down...... I know that we can do this..... I say we because I am trying to be better about allowing God to lift some of these struggles.... I usually hold on so tightly to all of my struggles, worries, and emotions that they turn to stones and mortar surrounding my heart..... I am disconnected from everything and everyone..... Part of this "diet" led life change is becoming emotionally and spiritually healthy as well...... It is raining today, and though I do love sleeping in the rain, perhaps it is time to feed this body, head to the gym, then embrace the positive healthy new life I have ahead! Oh, I haven't mentioned the phentermine.... It hasn't completely killed my appetite.... I think 90% of our appetites are emotion or boredom driven and that appetite had been quieted.... I definitely still get hungry..... But it is more of a direct connection to what my physical body is needing...... Another thing is that I am not bouncing around with boundless energy..... But I can tell when it kicks in.... I get a little warm and sweaty.... And even though I am fighting these sugar and caffeine withdrawals..... I can still head to the gym, and I actually want to work out..... Blessings to anyone on this journey with me......